


Wishful Thinking

by winterhats



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: F/M, Gen, Masturbation, PWP, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, highschool days, lots of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:09:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20102914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: Haruka's thoughts keep coming back to the same person. [Request].





	Wishful Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> I got like 5 people in my askbox asking for this- um, why?
> 
> Alternative summary: Haruka really wants Takane to give him a kiss. (Huh? What do you mean that's Over The Dimension's plot? Shoot!)

Haruka rolls back in his desk chair, leaning away from his sketchbook just for a second.

He's been drawing for a while now, evident in the pain he felt in his back and the slight tension in the fingers of his right hand. But even so, he couldn't get anything done. His mind felt foggy and unfocused, like it tends to do when you haven't had sleep in a long time.

It was barely 9PM though, but his house was haunted by an unnerving silence that made it feel like it was even later in the night. However, that was the usual. Haruka's not even sure his father was home; he hasn't heard the front door at all. Perhaps, and most likely, he was still at work.

Not that it made any difference, really. The house would be silent all the same.

He considers maybe playing a videogame, but he quickly discards the idea. No, he isn't focused enough for that. And videogames in general make him think of the one thing he was trying to get his mind off of. He sighs, slightly annoyed with himself and his thoughts, looking down at the unfinished drawing on his desk.

The soft traces drawn on the paper, shading and building up to a grumpy smile, makes Haruka inevitably smile back to the drawing. Usually, he likes to draw out of his comfort zone, try out different poses and expressions, but when it came to drawing this girl, Haruka found himself doing the same over and over again.

He's sure Takane would be a little freaked out. Yeah, she already looked annoyed as it was when he designed her to be the final boss of their game, so if she found out he likes drawing her on a regular basis just for the fun of it, he'd be in big trouble. And honestly, she'd have every right to be angry.

But he couldn't help himself, and maybe, just maybe, it was good to have something for himself, right? Takane must have her own secrets, too. The entire "Lightning Dancer Ene" thing was one in itself, after all. He wonders how many more of those secrets she has, and if he's ever going to find out about any of them.

Well, now that's a bad thought. He _just_ thought about how it's alright for people to have secrets, and now he's only craving to know hers. Ah, seriously, what's wrong with him? How creepy can he get?

It's enough that he can't even focus on drawing or doing absolutely anything else because his gaze is clouded with images of her. Of how soft her voice sounds when she's in a good mood, of how squishy her cheeks look when he manages to get a smile out of her. Haruka shakes his head, as if to shudder the thoughts away. There he goes, getting distracted again!

Not that he had anything else to do, really, but there was something that made it feel... wrong, to think of Takane this way. It made him feel guilty and ashamed, especially since the thoughts came to him so easily, and were so difficult to shoo away. If not impossible.

Now, there's nothing wrong with thinking of Takane. Especially since she's so wonderful; she deserves to be praised and to have people think good things of her, but Haruka couldn't help but think he tended to... step over the line, to put it in a way.

Haruka sighs, looking down at himself. He was still dressed with the clothes he chose this morning, before heading off to meet with Takane. He should get dressed into his sleeping clothes soon, isn't it? Otherwise, he'll get sleepy and too lazy to change afterwards...

Well, he's not sure he'll be even able to sleep. All his brain was capable of doing was, well, reliving tiny moments from the afternoon. Takane had been in a good mood, and that was contagious to Haruka.

They had met at the arcade, which is not surprising in the slightest. After all, it has became their go-to place after Takane's hobbies were exposed. Takane's voice is sharp and loud when she plays videogames, but even then, Haruka finds himself inanely smitten with her.

When she's playing there, Takane becomes a lot more touchy and hyperactive. Yes, that's right. Despite how focused she is everytime she plays, for some reason it's different when she's at the arcade. He's not sure she realizes she does it, but she actually starts jumping and talking to herself whenever she's winning at some machine. And whenever she does win, she lets out a victory squall.

It was so different from how she plays when she's sitting down holding a joystick. Then, she's always focused, dead silent and severe. Haruka adores that Takane too, but it's always fun to see the excitable Takane at the arcade.

When too many twelve year olds start to crowd around to see her play is when Takane calls it off for the day. However, before actually heading home, they usually get something to eat together; that was the drill today too.

It never got fancier than fast food, but that isn't necessarily bad. It's always fun.

Today, he grabbed two french fries and tucked them at opposite sides of his mouth, while Takane watched him with a bored expression as she chewed on the straw of her soda. She does that a lot, he noticed.

Once the french fries were properly positioned to be his fangs, he had said, "Roar! I'm here to take your left over fries!"

Takane obviously rolled her eyes, but even if she tried, she wasn't able to hide her smile. Not even to swallow back her laugh, but once he heard it, Haruka wasn't sure she even tried to hide it. She genuinely laughed in some sort of snort, saying, "Take them. They're cold, anyway. Just don't do that again, dork."

And that was how Haruka successfully won himself extra fries. Takane's smile wasn't erased even after pushing the carton of cold fries towards him, and Haruka could only smile back as he nervously ate the ones he still had tucked in his mouth. Moments like that were everything to him; and that's what he means with "stepping over the line".

Fondly thinking of a nice memory should be fine, but having it go to the point he couldn't get anything done because he couldn't get Takane's laugh out of his head sounded like too much. It's already been a few hours since he got home, but he has yet to think of something that wasn't her and her smile.

Takane had probably already moved on with her day. In fact, she's probably online playing something right now, which only made Haruka feel even more embarrassed. Talk about clingy...

But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help the eagerness he felt everytime he saw her, longing to try to make her smile and maybe even laugh. Longing to hear her call him a dork in between giggles, longing to have her soflty push him away when he gets too close.

Earlier, before they had parted ways, Takane had seemed to have gathered up the courage to let honesty take over, saying with the most unthreatening, and actually bubbly, voice, "I had fun today."

Haruka himself had of course became a mess, though he wishes she hadn't noticed. He felt his own face heat up, as he responded the sentiment with a smile and a, "Me too."

He thought the tender moment would embarrass Takane enough to make her lash out or something, but that didn't happen. She continued to smile, simply turning on her heels and offering a last wave of her hand to finally start walking in direction to her home. Haruka could only let out a breath.

Maybe the moment wasn't as tender as he felt it. It was a rather normal situation, after all. Just two friends saying bye to each other. So why were there flutters in his stomach, and why does his heart feel so full?

It made his cheeks warm to simply remember her smile. It gave him goosebumps to remember what her hair smelled like, when there had been too many people in line of the fast food restaurant and she had been too close. He wonders how her hair would feel against his skin. Sometimes, when she's asleep at school, it _is_ tempting to reach out and simply touch the strands of hair sticking up, but that seemed like too much.

He'd never do anything to Takane without her consent; not even touch her hair. It didn't matter if it was harmless, it'd be unnacceptable.

What if he did have her consent, though? What would Takane say if he asked?

She'd probably say no, really. It doesnt take a genius to guess that. She'd even tell him off, and with a good reason at that. But even knowing that was probably the case, Haruka couldn't stop himself from imagining her say yes.

He loves imagining how it'd feel to run his fingers through one of her pigtails. He loves to imagine how it'd be like to take off her hairties, letting her hair down, and brushing it. He would put her hairties in his wrist, and maybe she'll forget to ask for them, and then he can keep them and be reminded of her everytime he looks at them.

Haruka smiles to himself, his head already in the clouds and his sketchbook long forgotten on his desk as he happily moves from one side to the other in his swivel chair. Because, what if, and it's just an if, what if Takane touched his hair too? The idea sent tingles down his spine, and he brought a hand up to cover his face. He couldn't help the smile, though.

Just feeling the ghost of her hands brushing his bangs back, the tip of her fingers touching his forehead lightly as she does so. He doesn't know how she'd be able to do that, given their height difference... ah, maybe if he was laying his head on her lap? And Takane would smile down at him, and now that his hair is out of the way, she'd lean down to press a kiss against his forehead?

Haruka's eyes flutter open. Hey, hey, hey. Now, what's he thinking!? Takane would _never!_ Not in a million years!

_No way! Just cut it out. I can't do this to myself._

Sighing for what it seems like the millionth time tonight, Haruka notices how tense his body felt. He leans in back to the desk, his mind ordering him around all of a sudden; keep drawing or put the sketchbook away for now and do something else. Just– draw, or play a game, or read, or watch something. Maybe just go to sleep, even! He couldn't just sit here and think of Enomoto Takane the entire night!

But it was when he moved forward that he realized a major inconvenience. Haruka immediately presses his hands in between his legs and gasps to himself, looking up to his empty bedroom as if he hadn't been alone. Of course he was, and for the first time ever, he's glad he is.

Oh, he isn't one to swear, but the moment called for it, "Aw, darn it..."

So this is why his mind felt foggy and useless. Haruka looks up from his crotch and presses his legs together, pouting with a counfounded manner in disgust of himself. Getting a hard on from simply imagining a girl playing with his hair. Wow there, seriously.

Well, it's not just "a girl". That makes it seem random and even more disgusting. It's Takane.

That she's a girl is not all that makes Takane be appealing to him. Thoughts of Takane were able to set in motion these feelings in him because it's _her._ In all her sneery attitude, her wild raven hair and unwelcoming yet charming eyes. All of it made Takane special, as well as it made Haruka be head over heels for her.

But that wasn't the point. The point was, he's an idiot.

Maybe it was time to wrap up the "pining for Enomoto Takane" hours and do finally shoo every thought about her to get things over with. Because he knows this... _thing_ isn't going away unless he does the single most shameful thing in the world.

Well, he could always wish it away, but seeing how compliant his mind has been this entire night, he knows in advance that won't work. So Haruka just grunts in anger with himself as he undoes the belt of his trousers.

He pauses for a second, and takes in a breath. It felt like he was waiting for something, but whatever it was, it doesn't happen. There's nothing but the typical silence that prevails in his house.

Just don't think of anything. Just do the stupid thing and then go to sleep and forget about it. Seriously, _don't_ think of anything. He knows getting Takane out of his mind has been a hard task this evening (and just... this year, really) but he _really_ needs to get her out of his mind this time. Just– don't think of anything.

Haruka focuses his gaze on the pencil holder on the corner of his desk as his fingers ghosted around the hem of his boxers. It's just a regular pencil holder. There's nothing special to it. Except it's blue, and that's Takane's favourite colour.

Well, okay, that didn't work. Just try looking at something else, like the copic markers he kept in said pencil holder. Yeah, just look at that. He bought those with birthday money he received like two years ago, and they're still working just fine. He wrapped his fingers around himself over his underwear, and as soon as he does, the image of Takane's smile is back in his head despite she had no relation to his copic markers.

He felt his face burn, especially on his nose, where there was this itchy feeling you get right before crying, but this time he doesn't try to stop the thoughts from coming in. He gives up in all of its glory.

It just drove him insane, to imagine that smile close to his face, close to his lips. To imagine that smile against him.

Haruka lets out a shaky sigh as he imagines how her small hands would feel cupping his face, how her short arms would feel wrapped around his body. She's quite short, so her face would be against his chest. And if he leans down enough, she could rest her head on the crook of his neck, and simply nuzzle. The ghost of it sends a shiver down his spine.

Was it bad, that in that case, he'd want her to turn and simply press a kiss there? On his neck, on his shoulder, on his lips. Anywhere, as long as she's kissing him. She'd be so tender and shy, that she'd only do it once before deciding it's too embarrassing.

It's okay if it's embarrassing for her to do something like that. He could do it in her place, he didn't mind doing it for her. God, he really wanted to do it for her. He wanted her close, he wanted to hold her against him and enjoy her warmth.

Takane, usually, doesn't button her school shirt all the way up, leaving one or two buttons undone and her collarbones exposed.

If he kissed her there, she'd be so embarrassed she'd turn her face away to the side, biting on her finger to avoid screaming or chickening out. Haruka imagines how it'd be to unbutton her shirt and how her skin would feel against his palms.

He reaches inside his boxers, and with the thought of Takane withering under him as he kissed her chest, he pulls the fabric down just enough. He touches himself leisurely, trying keep his awareness away from the fact he's touching himself at all.

All he wanted to think of was of messy kisses on his classmate, of the kind of sounds she would make– what kind of sounds _would_ she make? She'd probably try to keep them to herself, she'd be too stubborn to let them out, so the sounds would be small and mostly suppressed.

But he's so close to her that he can listen, he can hear them. She'd whisper his name against him, because she likes him and she likes what he's doing to her. Haruka keeps the pace of his hand, putting soft pressure, as he can't help but moan out in a whisper, "_Takane..._"

He clicks his tongue, rolling his head up, frustrated with himself. Even so, he doesn't stop. He simply can't stop if he's imagining Takane's (small, oh so small) hand wrapped around him instead of his own; his dick twitches against his palm at the thought of it.

He imagines Takane's free hand placed on his inner thigh. She imagines her kneeling down in front of him, under his desk. Because she's small like that, and she'd probably fit.

She refuses to meet his eyes, her cheeks burning in red as a pout sealed her mouth. Her hand pumping his dick softly, and the eyes that were looking away suddenly fixated on the matters at hand. It seemed to get her more embarrassed, but she looks up at him next, "Ha – Haruka is the only person I'd ever do this to, you know...?"

"Yeah, Takane," he whispers to himself, actually cracking a smile, his hand immediately picking up a harder pace. "I know."

He imagines her leaning in, just slightly, to press a kiss on his groin, and then another one slightly to the side. Then another, and then another, her hand slowing down on him so she can press another kiss on the side of his dick. Her hand would start to avoid the tip now, as she licked her lips to gently press them on it, her mouth opening just enough to–

And then he's done. Every single thought is washed away by the awkwardness the aftermath brings him. That being the mess in his own hand and desk, and well as the taste of shame and guilt inside his mouth.

Haruka presses his lips together, sighing through his nose. He didn't even want to think about anything now. Not even Takane. Especially Takane. All he can bring himself to do is reach over for one of the drawers of the desk and take a box of tissues out.

His phone buzzes as he cleaned himself up, just as he was pulling his boxers back up. He makes a face at it, not really wanting to speak to anybody right now, but the screen glew up by itself and showed the notification.

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:36PM]** heyheyheyheyhey_

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:36PM]** are we playing 2night????_

Haruka's eyes guiltily glaze over the screen, and he bites the inside of his cheek. He looks at the dirty tissues in his hand before throwing them in the bin under the desk, deciding that perhaps, going to sleep now would be the best option. He felt his cheeks burning from only seeing Takane's name contact. He was way too ashamed to even try speaking with her now.

All he can think about is of how disgusted she would be if she found out he did this– no, that he _does_ this. She'd absolutely despise him. Because it's not the first time he does this. It's not even the second time. Not even the third or fourth time.

Why is he so disgusting?

He looks away from his phone, sniffing a little as he continued cleaning when the screen glows up again after another buzz.

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:38PM]** well maybe ur already asleep_

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:38PM]** kokonose-kun need his beauty sleep at 9pm it seems_

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:38PM]** kay._

Great, now he had something else to feel guilty about. She thought he was asleep when he was just ignoring her.

_You're just great, aren't you, Haruka?_

He grunts, finally standing up from the chair when his phone buzzes again. Seriously, what now...?

_**[Enomoto Takane, 9:38PM]** good night_

Haruka just sighs again. He really is the worst.


End file.
